On a few occasions I have heard people I represent tell me that the situation isn’t that bad, because they are not being hit. They tell me that, eventually, if they ignore the behavior it will simply go away. Well, that may be true in some instances, and ignoring the behavior may be better than feeding into it, however, there are a couple of statistics that may be helpful.
• Each instance of stalking lasts an average of 1.8 years.
• Each instance of stalking lasts an average of 2.2 years if it involves a current or former domestic partner.
According to the statistics the situation will not just go away in many cases. You may need to consult with a professional about your particular situation to help guide you in the right direction.

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Like other types of domestic violence, stalking often escalates into physical encounters and can last for long periods of time if you do not get help to put an end to it. Here’s some more troubling statistics on stalking:
• Women who are stalked by a domestic partner will be physically assaulted by that same person 81% of the time.
• Women who are stalked by a domestic partner will be sexually assaulted by that same person 31% of the time.
Legal professionals can help guide you in the right direction to put an end to the cycle of domestic violence. It is never easy to get out of these types of situations, but with the right advice, you can be on your way to freedom.

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Stalking is against the law in New Jersey. N.J.S.A. 2C:12-10 is the criminal statute for stalking. Here are some interesting statistics from the Stalking Resource Center:
• Over 1 million women and almost 371,000 men are stalked every year in the U.S.
• 1 out of 12 women will be stalked at some point in their lifetime.
• 77% of female victims know their stalker.
• 87% of people who commit stalking offenses are men.
These statistics paint a very serious picture. Stalking is a huge problem and can very easily escalate into a physical situation. Contact your local law enforcement immediately if you have suspect someone is stalking you. With the help of a qualified attorney, you can obtain a restraining order and help put an end to the fear.

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The statistics listed in the prior post are telling. Children are victims of violence on a daily basis at an alarming rate. I have talked to women who say that their kids are too young to understand what’s going on in the home or they think that because the child isn’t old enough to express verbally what is occurring, that they may not be effected. In addition, some people may think that because the child isn’t being physically or emotionally abused that they are safe.

In my experience, children are very perceptive. Even if they can’t walk or talk, they understand emotion. Children recognize when mommy or daddy is angry, upset, nervous or sad. Children can sense tension in the home. Domestic violence can have very serious consequences for you and your children. But there are so many resources to help you and your family through this troubling time. The law can protect you and your children from further abuse.

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www.endabuse.org is a great website that states some of the staggering statistics on domestic violence and children. Here are a few of them:

• A study of over 6,000 American families showed that 50% of men who frequently abuse their wives also abuse their children.
• Over 50% of women who are victims of domestic violence live have children under the age of 12 living in the home where the violence occurs.
• Somewhere between 3 and 10 million children per year witness some form of domestic violence.

The bottom line is that children who live in homes with an abuser, whether they are being physically harmed or not, will suffer the consequences.

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Statistics presented by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence have shown that in the year 2006, 3,888 children were involved in and 20,857 were present during a domestic violence offense. I cannot stress enough that even if you think your children have not witnessed the violence or they are too young to understand what is going on, they can. Children are extremely perceptive even at a very young age and can sense when violence is occurring.

More importantly, the statistic above is particularly insightful because studies have shown that boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their partners in the future. Legal professionals can help you to protect yourself and your children from continued domestic violence. Please contact us today with any questions.

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The sad truth is that 1 out of every 4 women will experience domestic violence in
their lifetime. It is truly an amazing statistic that is staggering. Check out this website to get more statistics on the extent of domestic violence in New Jersey.

More facts on domestic violence

If you are being abused, either physically or emotionally, there are alternatives for you and your children. They are people who can help. The best thing to do is contact your local domestic violence hotline to get more information on how to solve the immediate problem.

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This is a very common question I get from people who are trying to forcible remove their spouse from the marital residence. If you are going through a divorce and simply do not want to live with your spouse any longer, you cannot just change the locks. Both parties have a right to remain in the home.

However, if you have obtained a restraining order, and you have been granted permission to remain in the home, you CAN change the locks. In fact, to protect the safety of you and your children, you should get the locks changed as soon as possible.

In addition, if your spouse has voluntarily moved out of the home and is staying with a relative or his/her own space, you may be able to change the locks. You should know that it is always best to get advise from a lawyer based on your individual circumstances before you take any action.

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Getting the person who is abusing you out of your home is only the first step in a difficult and emotional process. When I go to court and help clients obtain final restraining orders, they are often faced with the problem of increased hostility and need direction in how to make their homes safe. There are some things that you can do to help make your home safe for you and your children. The Violence Prevention Fund has offered this list of safety tips:
1. The first thing you should always do is to change the locks on your doors and any windows. It is also important to keep the house locked even when you are at home.
2. If you can afford to do so, install a security system.
3. Make sure you always have your car doors locked, even if the car is in your driveway or garage.
4. Talk to your children and make sure they know how to call family members, friends or 911 if the abuser returns to the home.
5. It is also a good idea to establish a code word that friends and family know is a call for help. It is very important to keep as many supportive people around you as possible. Friends and family can be invaluable resources.
6. If you do have children, make sure you talk to their caregivers, either their school or day care to give them a list of who has permission to pick them up.

USEFUL RESOURCES

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Once the net income of both parties is calculated and the basic support obligation has been determined, the court may add to that obligation for certain expenses. For example, if you have work related day care costs, the court will add that to the basic support award. In addition, the cost of adding your child to your health insurance will also be included. The court may also approve private education costs, special needs of disabled or gifted children and transportation expenses for visitation with a parent who may live in another state.

Some children may also have predictable or recurring unreimbursed medical costs. The court will add these costs into the support figure to make sure that the medical needs of the child are attended to without a financial struggle for the custodial parent. Remember that these additional expenses are within the court’s discretion to award and it may be in your best interest to talk to a lawyer to get some advice on the best way to present your case to a Judge.

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Child Support takes into account the gross income of both parents. Gross income has been defined in the rule as all earned and unearned income that is recurring over an extended period of time. Now, keep in mind that the court will always have discretion in determining what income is recurring and what counts as an extended period of time.

Here are some examples of what the court will consider as income: wages, tips, bonuses, alimony, any distributions from a retirement account, IRAs, civil lawsuit awards, unemployment benefits, worker’s compensation benefits, gambling or lottery winnings, interest in decedent’s estate, or operation of a business. This list is not exhaustive so the best thing to do is contact an attorney if you have additional questions about what a court may consider.

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New Jersey calculates child support based on the Child Support Guidelines set forth in Appendix IX of the New Jersey Court Rules. The Guidelines are mandatory in every case that initially comes before the court. Keep in mind there are situations where the court will allow parties to deviate from the Guidelines, however, good cause must be shown for the deviation.

The Guidelines were established to provide a fair and standardized way to set support for every child in the state of New Jersey. They were based on the Consumer Expenditure Survey which contains national data on how families spend money and takes into account the location of families, their size and socio-economic characteristics. These guidelines were created to work for parents who have a net income of $150,800 or less. If both parents make more than this amount, the courts will use the Guidelines up to $150,800 and then impose additional financial responsibility based on any income that was not used in the original calculation.

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Pensions or 401k or any other retirement account is an asset subject to equitable distribution. The amount you are entitled to is the amount that was accrued during the course of the marriage (the date you were married through the date the Complaint for Divorce was filed). The Divorce Reform Act of 1988 created a way for non-participating spouses to obtain the benefits just as the participating spouse through a Court Order called a QDRO.

QDRO stands for Qualified Domestic Relations Order. Most companies have a separate legal department to handle the entry of these orders. They are quite complicated to complete and each employer may have their own form they require. You should consult with your attorney to have them handle the preparation of this special order.

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It is fairly common for people to have credit card debt or loans to settle in their divorce. The vast majority of my clients blame their spouse for the debt he or she incurred. Most times you will be partially responsible for the debt incurred by your spouse during the marriage, whether you agreed with the purchases or not. New Jersey case law states that fault plays no role in equitable distribution except in cases of extreme levels of criminal or financial fault. Chalmers v. Chalmers, N.J. 186 (1974).

Several years later, another New Jersey court confirmed this ruling by stating that, “we are satisfied that the concept of "equitable distribution" requires that fault be excluded as a consideration. The court then gave two basic reasons for this holding. First, "fault may be merely a manifestation of a sick marriage," and only reflects how a person reacted to a marital problem which may not be of his or her making. Second, the court repeated the partnership or shared enterprise theory that each contributed to the marital estate and we are merely giving to each what really belongs to him or her.

You need to be aware of the debt your spouse is incurring in their own name, or in yours. It is important to understand that the court looks at marriage as a true partnership. Debt incurred by one partner will be shared by the other with a few exceptions.

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Unfortunately, whether or not your name is on a particular credit account, New Jersey law states that both parties are responsible for the debt that was racked up during the marriage. But what counts as, “during the marriage”?

New Jersey case law states that “. . . the period of acquisition for the equitable distribution of marital property shall terminate the day the complaint for divorce is filed”. Painter v. Painter, 65 N.J. 196 (1974). This timing precludes either party from dissipating assets or accumulating debt which the other spouse would have to be responsible for. If one party wishes to have certain debts or assets subject to distribution after the filing of the complaint the burden of proving that such is subject to distribution shifts to the moving party. I just had a case with this very issue. After the Plaintiff filed for divorce, but before the ultimate settlement, she had charged up significant debt and was attempting to have her spouse pay for 50% of the bill. She testified at trial that the money was spent to feed and clothe the children, however, no bank or credit card statements were provided. The Judge ruled that the debt was not accrued during the marriage and Plaintiff did not prove that she had spent the money for marital purposes.

Bottom line, do not file for divorce and then rack up the debt, you will be responsible for it all on your own!

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