New Jersey Divorce Lawyer Blog

Domestic Violence – Stalking: Part 2

Like other types of domestic violence, stalking often escalates into physical encounters and can last for long periods of time if you do not get help to put an end to it. Here’s some more troubling statistics on stalking:
• Women who are stalked by a domestic partner will be physically assaulted by that same person 81% of the time.
• Women who are stalked by a domestic partner will be sexually assaulted by that same person 31% of the time.
Legal professionals can help guide you in the right direction to put an end to the cycle of domestic violence. It is never easy to get out of these types of situations, but with the right advice, you can be on your way to freedom.

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Domestic Violence - Stalking: Part 1

Stalking is against the law in New Jersey. N.J.S.A. 2C:12-10 is the criminal statute for stalking. Here are some interesting statistics from the Stalking Resource Center:
• Over 1 million women and almost 371,000 men are stalked every year in the U.S.
• 1 out of 12 women will be stalked at some point in their lifetime.
• 77% of female victims know their stalker.
• 87% of people who commit stalking offenses are men.
These statistics paint a very serious picture. Stalking is a huge problem and can very easily escalate into a physical situation. Contact your local law enforcement immediately if you have suspect someone is stalking you. With the help of a qualified attorney, you can obtain a restraining order and help put an end to the fear.

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The majority of the law I practice involves helping women through difficult divorces where domestic violence is present. One of the most difficult situations to address is violence against the children present in the home, or while the children are present.

www.endabuse.org is a great website that states some of the staggering statistics on domestic violence and children. Here are a few of them:

• A study of over 6,000 American families showed that 50% of men who frequently abuse their wives also abuse their children.
• Over 50% of women who are victims of domestic violence live have children under the age of 12 living in the home where the violence occurs.
• Somewhere between 3 and 10 million children per year witness some form of domestic violence.

The bottom line is that children who live in homes with an abuser, whether they are being physically harmed or not, will suffer the consequences.

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Domestic Violence – What are the facts?

The sad truth is that 1 out of every 4 women will experience domestic violence in
their lifetime. It is truly an amazing statistic that is staggering. Check out this website to get more statistics on the extent of domestic violence in New Jersey.

More facts on domestic violence

If you are being abused, either physically or emotionally, there are alternatives for you and your children. They are people who can help. The best thing to do is contact your local domestic violence hotline to get more information on how to solve the immediate problem.

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Marital Debt And Divorce: Who Pays?

It is fairly common for people to have credit card debt or loans to settle in their divorce. The vast majority of my clients blame their spouse for the debt he or she incurred. Most times you will be partially responsible for the debt incurred by your spouse during the marriage, whether you agreed with the purchases or not. New Jersey case law states that fault plays no role in equitable distribution except in cases of extreme levels of criminal or financial fault. Chalmers v. Chalmers, N.J. 186 (1974).

Several years later, another New Jersey court confirmed this ruling by stating that, “we are satisfied that the concept of "equitable distribution" requires that fault be excluded as a consideration. The court then gave two basic reasons for this holding. First, "fault may be merely a manifestation of a sick marriage," and only reflects how a person reacted to a marital problem which may not be of his or her making. Second, the court repeated the partnership or shared enterprise theory that each contributed to the marital estate and we are merely giving to each what really belongs to him or her.

You need to be aware of the debt your spouse is incurring in their own name, or in yours. It is important to understand that the court looks at marriage as a true partnership. Debt incurred by one partner will be shared by the other with a few exceptions.

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Spousal Abuse

Can I sue my spouse for spousal abuse? The answer is yes but the answer is limited to physical abuse. In New Jersey the court established the right of a spouse to sue the other spouse on Tevis v. Tevis. The legal theory is no different than any assault claim. If a party causes you physical harm, intentionally or unintentionally, you have the right to pursue a claim but it must be done at the time of the divorce. It will be then be transferred to another court where you can get a jury trial.

The numbers are staggering

Between 1/3 and 1/2 of all adult women are beaten by their husbands or lovers at some time in their lives. 14% of American women acknowledge having been violently abused by a husband or boyfriend.

92% of physically abused women (by their partners) did not talk about these incidents with their physicians; 57% did not discuss the incidents with anyone.

1/2 of all violent crimes against woman are not reported to police

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Adultery and Domestic Violence.

Can you sue you spouse for either personal injuries from domestic violence or for emotional distress caused by non physical violence marital conduct. Yes.

New Jersey has a Tevis claim, The Supreme Court of New Jersey recognized in 1979 an abused spouses right to sue the the other spouse for personal injuries sustained at the hand of the other spouse (domestic violence). The theory would be the same as in any personal injury case. The spouse negligently or intentionally cause personal injuries. Punitive damages would be available for recovery. The claim usually must be litigated in the family court at the same time as the divorce. The court will usually separate theses claims and let the personal injury claim be heard by a jury in the Law Division rather than the Chancery Division.

The New Jersey Courts also recognize another claim in Ruprecht v. Ruprecht, 252 N.J. Super. 230 (Ch. Div. 1991) for emotional distress but is must be outrageous conduct. The court used the following to describe the conduct that must be present to provide damages

"exceed all bounds usually tolerated by decent society."

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Why Do Marriages Fail ?

There have been may studies to explain why one in two marriages fail in the United States. Please read this study and really think about the conclusions.

Predicting marital success!

In short the study reveals that the failure or success of the marriage is determined in the first two years.

"First, contrary to popular belief, Huston found that many newlyweds are far from blissfully in love. Second, couples whose marriages begin in romantic bliss are particularly divorce-prone because such intensity is too hard to maintain. Believe it or not, marriages that start out with less "Hollywood romance" usually have more promising futures."

The study also concluded that it is the loss of affection that is a major cause for divorce.

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Can I stop my spouse form divorcing me?

Legally you will not be able to stop your spouse from obtaining a Judgment of Divorce. If your spouse has filed for divorce using one of the proper causes of action, the divorce will be granted. You may want to consider marriage counseling if you do not want the divorce. Just be aware that you cannot force your spouse into counseling.

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How Enforceable Is A Prenuptial Agreement?

The answer is that a prenuptial is tough to break. Standard contract principles apply. Was the agreement voluntarily entered and/or is it unconsionable? This is more than just unfair but really, really, unfair,

Courts have looked at many cases but the determinative factor as to the unconscionably is the lifestyle of the spouse looking to challenge the prenuptial agreement.

In Jacobitti v. Jacobitti the wife was bound to a wheelchair and the court held that under the circumstances it was unfair to enforce the prenuptial agreement.

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Divorce Court is is part of the Chancery Division which means there are special rules. The special rules are that the Judge makes the rules. The Judges follow a set of guidelines for each issue. Who gets the kids. How much support is awarded. How much alimony. Visitation.

The court is guided by equity or equitable principles that when applied are fair to all the litigants and the children. There are certain principles that the court has to enforce, such as the best interests of the children, but the application of this equitable principle is at the sound discretion of the judge.

Chancery Division, Family part has a great web site that provides assistance in both answering questions and providing free guidance.

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Irreconcilable Differences: N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2(i). This is a new cause of action that was passed in New Jersey in January 2007. New Jersey waited a long time to get this particular statute. Simply stated, people can now get divorced without having to wait out an 18 month separation and without having to blame the other party. Irreconcilable differences requires that the parties have differences that led to the breakdown of the marriage and there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.

As an attorney, I was grateful to see this law passed because prior to January 2007, if you wanted to file for divorce and you had not been separated for 18 months, you had to say pretty awful things about the other party in your Complaint for Divorce. That is no longer the case with this mew statute. The Complaint is the first paperwork that your spouse will receive concerning dissolution of the marriage. It can be a very emotional document that has the power to turn a fairly amicable situation into a nightmare. This new cause of action has taken a lot of the emotion out of the Complaint which has helped keep the peace during a very volatile time.

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Adultery:

Yes, you can divorce your spouse for adultery. However, it generally will not affect the distribution of assets and only tends to exacerbate an already unstable situation. Adultery does not need to be corroborated and can be proven using evidence such as the inclination to commit adultery and the opportunity to commit adultery. The courts have ruled that gay and lesbian relationships did constitute adultery and that condoning the cheating is not a defense. However, as I said earlier, the cause of action plays a very small role in the ultimate outcome of the case, and should not be asserted to intentionally make the situation worse. It will not help you in the long run.

These are some stats on adultery in this country

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Is there any benefit to hire a private investigator to catch my spouse cheating?

Not really. Going through a divorce is an extremely personal and emotional time for most people. Hiring a private investigator to catch your spouse cheating is only going to add to the emotional strain on the parties involved and generally will not effect the distribution of assets. In my experience, it causes more harm than good.

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