Recently, I have seen a developing trend in New Jersey with people trying to participate in mediation in order to resolve their divorce as opposed to simply filing for divorce and moving forward in the process. Mediation, and even arbitration, at this point has certain plusses and minuses. I certainly am an advocate for parties attempting to work out their differences in an amicable fashion as opposed to going through a very nasty and litigious divorce process. The problem is that often times during mediation, the parties will participate and rack up significant legal fees and end up walking out of the process without an agreement only to have to start from scratch with their own individual attorneys.

Mediation is certainly a helpful tool for certain couples with low hostility and limited issues. However, it is my opinion that you can start the divorce process immediately and still attempt to work out an uncontested and amicable settlement in the process. The reason for this is my experience with several clients who have walked into my office who have been participating in mediation for the past several months without having a complaint for divorce filed with the court. For one reason or another, the negotiation have broken down and they are forced to start the process from scratch. Had they simply filed a divorce complaint initially, and continued to work toward a mutual settlement, most likely they would be three quarters of the way through the process. Unfortunately, for them, they are strapped with significant legal fees from a mediator and are now forced to hire an attorney to start the process over with additional anger and anxiety that has accrued over the past several months during mediation.

If you have questions or concerns regarding mediation and whether or not your situation would work well, please free to contact this office for a free initial consultation.

What would you do when the other parent is alienating the children in order to influence the outcome of a custody battle? Surprisingly enough, during custody litigation, a significant amount of parents attempt to alienate the children from their parent in an attempt to influence the outcome of the custody battle. I say this is surprising because either parents do not know or do not care about the tremendous impact this alienation can have on the children during the custody battle and continuing into the future. If [unclear], the first thing you should do is petition the court via motion to get an order asking your spouse to discussing the litigation with the children, and making derogatory statements to the children while they are present. More often than not you should also seek to include your spouse’s family members or close friends who have significant time with the children as well as your spouse in this order.
In practice, these requests are routinely granted by the court because there is absolutely no arm in requiring both parties’ or either party to restrain from making disparaging marks in front of the children or alienating the children from one parent or the other. It does not have negative impacts on either party and, frankly, if you are not attempting to alienate your children, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
On the other hand, this type of court order is often met without regard and the alienation continues. If that is the case and you can petition the court with proof that your spouse continues to alienate the children, there are a number of remedies that a court can impose for violating an alienation order. Rule 5:3-7(a) lists those additional remedies that are available. Some examples include additional time for the non-violating parent with the children, fines, counseling, temporary or permanent modification of the current custody arrangement, counsel fees, parenting classes for the parent in violation of the order, and other appropriate remedies including incarceration.
These types of sanctions are often difficult to have a court order, however, it certainly is in the realm of possibilities

As I stated in the previous blog posting, it maybe in everyone’s best interests to have a custody trial and determination as soon as possible. Another reason for holding a trial as quickly as possible is because more likely than not the court will maintain a status quo pending the outcome of the custody determination. That means that whatever arrangement you have with your spouse with regard to visitation of the kids will most likely remain in effect until a different outcome has been reached by the court or by agreement of the parties. Courts are very big on maintaining the status quo pending the outcome of any type of litigation in Family Court, including visitation, and including payment of the marital bills. If your spouse attempts to change the status quo in any way in an attempt to further his/her position during the trial, you can make an immediate application with the court to have the status quo maintained pending the outcome of the litigation. Please keep in mind that if there is an emergent situation that occurs, you can also petition the court via motion to have the status quo not be followed based on that emergent situation.

Although the courts have generally made it difficult for either parent to obtain sole custody during a divorce proceeding, there are several things that you can do to set up the best case possible should you be seeking sole custody of your children during a divorce action. The first thing you can do is petition the court for an immediate custody trial. What you may not know is that Court Rule 5:8-6 requires the Family Court to set a trial date no later than six months after the answer to a custody complaint has been filed with the court.
While this approach may seem hasty, it may be in the best interests of all parties involved especially the children to have a date set sooner than later. The reason for this can be either because the children need to know what their long term arrangements are going to be, or to avoid the children additional harm during the litigation period. Many times when custody is an issue either during a divorce trial or through parents who are unmarried, either parent or both may attempt to alienate the children against the other in order to benefit their case. While this is one of the most horrible things a parent can do to their child, you would be surprised at the amount of times it happens.
Therefore, it would seem to be in the interests of the children and both parents to have a hearing date set as soon as possible.

In New Jersey, the law allows you to modify an existing child support order or alimony award based on a ‘substantial change in circumstances’. However, the standard for modifying child support versus alimony greatly differs. As the economy worsens more and more people, mostly men, are seeking to petition the Court to change support orders.

First, child support orders can be reviewed by the Court for many different reasons including a change in either party’s income, additional children being born, or simply the passage of time. In addition, the standard at which the Court will review child support is based on the current circumstances of the parties and not the marital lifestyle. This standard makes it a lot easier to modify child support because current circumstances are often changing, whereas the marital lifestyle is what it was.

In contrast, modifying alimony can be a daunting task. Modification of alimony comes into separate steps. First, the party looking to reduce alimony must prove a prima facie case which shows a substantial change in circumstances. While trying to make this prima facie case, the moving party does not have the luxury of any type of discovery or financial information from the former spouse that is receiving alimony. That type of information is only provided once the moving party had shown that there is a prima facie case for a change in circumstances at which time the Court will order discovery and financial information by both sides.

After discovery is exchanged between the parties, the second step in the process is a plenary hearing in front of the judge where you have to prove that you are unable to continue to make the payments at the previous rate and that you are entitled to a decrease in modification. This standard is extremely difficult and New Jersey Courts have had difficulty keeping up with the times. I have seen the southern part of the state, for example Burlington and Camden counties, much more willing to listen to these alimony modification motions. However, the more northern or contral counties such as, Monmouth County, are having significant problems catching up with the economy and a modification of alimony is extremely difficult.

It is important that if you are interested in petitioning the Court to modify your child support or alimony, you do a significant amount of leg work including gathering up financial information to provide to your attorney in order to present the best case possible

Case Information Statement is a document that is to be submitted by the parties to divorce which includes and encompasses information pertaining to medical insurance coverage, life insurance coverage, income, spouse’s income, budget of living expenses and other specification of amounts that you are paying and/or receiving pertaining to other Family Court or family obligations.
New Jersey law requires a Case Information Statement to be filed in every case. This is so that the Court can, at an early stage, assess the needs of the parties and work towards a quick resolution of the matter.
Case Information Statement must be very accurate. Numerous decisions which ultimately be made by the Court will be based on the Case Information Statement and all the information contained therein. As an example, child support, alimony, pendente lite information and all relevant decisions that are based on financial information contained in the Case Information Statement. In this fashion, it is extremely important that it is accurate and it is continually updated to reflect the appropriate financial position of the parties.
Obviously, if you do not know the information requested in the Case Information Statement, there is no obligation to complete same. However, there is an obligation to make a reasonable investigation and look at records within your position. Common sense is a good guideline for completing and filling out any Case Information Statement required in any family law proceeding.
You are requested to list all relevant assets which could be subject to equitable distribution. If you have any questions pertaining to the completion of the Case Information Statement, you should ask your attorney. If you are unsure, you should make appropriate investigation and there are some very good websites including, but not limited to, the New Jersey Courts Online.