New Jersey Divorce Lawyer Blog

Domestic Violence - Stalking: Part 1

Stalking is against the law in New Jersey. N.J.S.A. 2C:12-10 is the criminal statute for stalking. Here are some interesting statistics from the Stalking Resource Center:
• Over 1 million women and almost 371,000 men are stalked every year in the U.S.
• 1 out of 12 women will be stalked at some point in their lifetime.
• 77% of female victims know their stalker.
• 87% of people who commit stalking offenses are men.
These statistics paint a very serious picture. Stalking is a huge problem and can very easily escalate into a physical situation. Contact your local law enforcement immediately if you have suspect someone is stalking you. With the help of a qualified attorney, you can obtain a restraining order and help put an end to the fear.

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The majority of the law I practice involves helping women through difficult divorces where domestic violence is present. One of the most difficult situations to address is violence against the children present in the home, or while the children are present.

www.endabuse.org is a great website that states some of the staggering statistics on domestic violence and children. Here are a few of them:

• A study of over 6,000 American families showed that 50% of men who frequently abuse their wives also abuse their children.
• Over 50% of women who are victims of domestic violence live have children under the age of 12 living in the home where the violence occurs.
• Somewhere between 3 and 10 million children per year witness some form of domestic violence.

The bottom line is that children who live in homes with an abuser, whether they are being physically harmed or not, will suffer the consequences.

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Domestic Violence – What are the facts?

The sad truth is that 1 out of every 4 women will experience domestic violence in
their lifetime. It is truly an amazing statistic that is staggering. Check out this website to get more statistics on the extent of domestic violence in New Jersey.

More facts on domestic violence

If you are being abused, either physically or emotionally, there are alternatives for you and your children. They are people who can help. The best thing to do is contact your local domestic violence hotline to get more information on how to solve the immediate problem.

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Can I move out of state with my children?

Any child who is born in the state of New Jersey, or has resided here for a period of 5 years, may not be removed from the state without the consent of both parents or by Court Order. If you want to move out of state with your children and the other parent does not consent, you can file a motion with the Family Court to obtain a removal order. Recent case law has made it easier for parents to get permission to move out of state.

In Baures v. Lewis, the custodial parent looking to move must show that 1) a good faith reason for the move; and 2) the child will not suffer because of the move. The court also provided a list of factors to consider in these types of cases including:

a. reasons for the move;
b. reasons the other parent is opposing the move;
c. past history of the parties;
d. available health, education and leisure opportunities in the proposed place of residence as compared with current opportunities;
e. any special needs of the child
f. whether visitation and communication can be developed so that the non-custodial parent’s relationship with the child is not hindered
g. the likelihood that the moving parent will continue to promote the relationship of the non-moving parent;
h. the effect the move may have on extended family members;
i. the child’s preference (if of appropriate age)
j. whether the non-moving party can relocate
k. any other factor in the child’s best interest

Because we are now in an age where technology and travel has improved, the court’s are much more lenient in allowing custodial parent’s to move out of state. Generally, your request will be granted if you can show that you will compromise and make accommodations for visitation and communication with your former spouse.

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The Child's Names in a Divorce

There is no set answer as to what happens to the last name of the children. Both the father and the mother have the same right to use their last name, which means that the mother can have the name changed to her maiden name. Usually the test is the best interest of the child which is dicey at best when it comes to a last name. What is the analysis?

How long has the child used a surname?
Family unit identification?
Potential for embarrassment?
Child's preference?

The following are the important cases

Rossell Yacono, 196 N.J. Super. 109 (Law Div. 1984)
In re Fisher, 204 N.J. Super. 75 (Law Div. 1985)
M.D. v. A.S.L, 275 N.J. Super. 530 (Ch. Div. 1994)
Gubernat v. Deremer, 140 N.J. 120 (1995)

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Do Grandparents Have a Right to Visitation?

No, but the right to apply for a chance for visitation.

It is more of a privilege than a right. The grandparents have the right to apply for visitation and the court will, as it all family law situations will analyze the fairness of the situation and make a decision based on what is best for the child.

The nature of the relationship between the person making the application and the child.

The relationship between the parents and the applicant

The amount of time since the applicant last saw the child

The effect on all the familial relationships pertaining to the child

If there is a divorce the type of time sharing agreement with the parents

Nature of the application, was it made in good or bad faith

History of abuse, sexual or otherwise

Anything else important the court considers relevant

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Divorce and Social Security

The rule is that if you are married for 10 years you receive full benefits as the spouse of the worker. If you are not marries 10 years then you are not entitled to any benefits.

Social Security Administration.

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What about my life and health insurance?

Generally, if you are carrying life insurance and you are required to pay child support or alimony in the divorce settlement, you will be required to keep that particular policy. The courts will look at this policy as insuring your responsibilities. The age of the children, term of alimony, age of the parties and amount of each responsibility will generally dictate the amount of insurance required. These factors will also control who must be named as the beneficiary of the policy.

If you are covered under your spouse’s health insurance policy, that coverage will terminate after the Judgment of Divorce. You can either obtain insurance through your own employer or inquire into COBRA benefits through your spouse’s employer. Children can be covered by you or your spouse. The best thing to do is to keep the children insured under the policy with the most comprehensive coverage.
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Can I use my maiden name again?

Absolutely. All you need to do is let your attorney know that you would like to return to your maiden name. The Final Judgment of Divorce will have a provision giving you the right to your former name. If you already have a Final Judgment of Divorce that does not contain a name change provision, you can contact a lawyer to add an addendum to the divorce decree.

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What happens if my spouse refuses to pay for me or the kids?

If you have a court which requires your former spouse to pay alimony or child support, you may file a motion to enforce that order is he or she is refusing to pay. The court has numerous remedies at it’s discretion including an award of counsel fees, additional monetary fines, and jail. The court can also attach to wages or other assets that the violator may have including retirement accounts. However, it is rare for a Judge to jail an individual who is not paying support.

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